I'm falling faster than I ever remember having before
can't help to think how foolish since I don't know what I'm landing on.
Momentarily wish for the familiar childhood phrase "falling into cotton candy"
to once again be reality
And I think of my childhood and every moment leading up to right now
there are mistakes I have made that lay heavy around me like chains
Though words say "Let no excessive self criticism or any feelings of inadequacy,
inability or experience hinder you or cause you to be afraid." I drown in the weight of my deeds
Others seemingly have no qualms reminding me to wear these chains of pain
What we view as practical seems silly and constrained to me
I dream of transporting myself to an age where jolly ranchers make dreams come true
But in my actuality of being, I instead make wishes on bent pop tops and hard to open film canisters
I get nervous, flustered, discouraged and find a right to feel this in actions that now lie rotting
in forgotten fields
My mind reels at the statement I am refusing to make with my hiccuping words
For a battle that has barely started my body feels unjustly worn and frayed
Quick heart! Fight for yourself and I and wonder where we will land