I sit and wait

Last night was good. Having to put your trust in someone because there is no other place to put it is a nice feeling in a way.

Gen and I drove down Mastindale Drive, wherever that is. There were many curves in the road and it seemed to be going up hill so it reminded me of last winter in North Carolina.

I want to get everyone in one room, everyone that I love, and just have them all safe in this one room. I want us to be able to stay there all day with no obligations of having to go anywhere except maybe home for dinner. That would be nice I think, because you, whoever is reading this, would be there.

Its a lazy sunday and for those of you who know what that entails for my family, I invite you to have an equally lazy lame sunday evening.

"I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment." -Frances Farmer

The Scars

If a conversation ever got too heavy, if someone got uncomfortable in a situation, if everyone needed a laugh, I had scars to fix the moment. I had forgotten about these scars until two nights ago but not until today did I check to see how they looked. They weren't there anymore. After over a year of having them on my lower back, my scars are gone. I was doing yoga in my room and while my room is not very nicely sized to be doing yoga, it had been working out for me for a long time. But this day I decided to try a move that I had not yet attempted. Well...not so smart I realized as I fell from the position and scrapped my lower back on my dresser. I just thought it hurt until I looked in the mirror and saw four cuts, they looked like little incisions. After cleaning them up I put on bandaids and then went to school in pain. Haha. What kind of dork gets hurt doing yoga?! I can tell you what kind. A melon dork.

Against All Odds

O SON OF BEING!Busy not thyself with this world, for with fire We test the gold, and with gold We test Our servants.
Baha'u'llah

transform the soul

my heart is not fully back in kansas yet. my mind drifts back and forth between haifa and what is now reality. i miss walking the terraces four times a day, even if my legs did ache a bit. i long to see the Shrine of the Bab again, to hear the silence that surounded it even as it was in the middle of a bustling city.

it was hard to imagine that Baha'u'llah, Abdul'-Baha, and Shoghi Effendi walked in the places we were walking. all of a sudden when you entered these homes They used to live in, you entered that time period. We entered into the cell of Baha'u'llah in Akka and I could not grasp the fact that Baha'u'llah had stayed in that room for 2 and a half years and then here I was...sitting on the same floor. we all knelt in prayer and as soon as we did the Islmaic Call to Prayer began. It was truly amazing, in the real sense of the word.

now to shock you all, i only cried three times. once at the sight of the sunroof Mirzah Mihdi fell through, once at the Beauty of the Bab and Baha'u'llah, once for the love of friend. my mind seemed to be in a constant state of prayer in Haifa. i never got used to everyone in Haifa knowing what the Baha'i Faith was.

Each and every one of you were in my thoughts and prayers while i was away. And i appreciate the ones that got me on and off the plane safely. i wanted to soak up every piece of beauty that i might be able to transfer it to you. i wanted to be able to say just one word and have you understand it all. I never understood the power of Allah'u'abha until i met people from all around the world, people with whom i could not communicate with other than the word of God.

I am back in America. Back in a materialistic country with so much anger, distrust and fights in its interior that is hard to imagine that good can come from it. But i hold out faith. And i pray.

"Shoghi Effendi has, through various channels, been hearing of the wonderful services you are rendering to the Cause. He sincerely trusts that the young and educated Bahá'ís, who have their spiritual faculties fully developed, and who as a consequence appreciate the significance of Bahá'u'lláh's mission in the development of the world, will with one accord, arise and establish the Kingdom of God upon the earth. The world around us is in a pitiable condition and its ills seem daily to increase. It is for us, we Bahá'í youths, who have been entrusted with this divine mission, to do our utmost and rest only when the task has been carried to its successful conclusion."
(Shoghi Effendi, The Light of Divine Guidance)