Summing up a full circle
Means breaking it into sectors
And as I struggle to break apart my service
To describe how I have grown
A few choice moments, phrases, colors and actions
Come undone, transforming into clarity.
"A wide latitude for action must be allowed them,
which means that a large margin for mistakes must also be allowed."
After these words shoot through my mind
I am transported from a destitute city
To a college town rich in something I am unsure of
All the while I am carving
Mindfully carving
who I am, what I will decide to be
and the path I will tread to get there.
I am taken, and I melt into a new family
Where the arts are used to show my potential
And I am revived for this next phase of my journey
My singing is resusictated, echoed in the voice of a child
And as I beg for more to be laid on my plate
I receive looks of incredulity, as they already know of my belongings,
5 circles, 2 classes, prayers and talks beside fire
All the while I am carving,
Mindfully carving,
Who I am, what I will decide to be
And the path I am trying to read to get there
While attempting to persuade others I always need to be in motion
I become stagnant with a cracked bone
New parts of myself are built up as I find I need to ask for help, chauffeurs,
Overcome with inactivity I realize this is just another lesson, and a blessing
That the Almighty has placed in my hands to mold as I will
And as the jewled words say
"If I could tell the world just one thing it would be we're all okay, and not to worry
cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless,
wont be idle with despair, I will gather myself around my faith, light the darkness most fear."
I drive into a new home
All the while I am carving,
Mindfully carving
Who I am, what I will decide to be
And the path I am endlessly walking
I my new space there is a battle between ego and sense of service
Others judge and from the look on their face and waning interest
It is clear--what mark could I leave with my simple service?
I almost give in but a friend's words echo the truth
"A woman had a near death experience...went to the Abha Kingdom,
Baha'u'llah asked her what she thought her most important service had ever been.
No pause was needed as she stated her teaching trip across Central America.
Baha'u'allah smiled and asked if she remembered when she helped at a summer event
for autistic children. That that day, when she spoke so kindly to that boy, it was the first time
anyone had been sincerely kind to him. It had touched his soul. That was her greatest service."
I am reminded these ten months are between God and me.
It's a perfect day to be interuppted from thought at Caribou Coffee to be told I'm an
angel,
It's a perfect winter morning to be stopped in my tracks by a woman begging to talk
with me.
It's an extraordinary afternoon to be cut off while reading to be questioned about
my faith.
It's an ideal evening to be stopped because of the language that I speak.
All the while I am carving
Mindfully carving
Who I am, what I will decide to be
And the path I have formed
I look at my hands that have handled all these tests and bounties
And I place the sectors back together but they form a different circle than before
They proudly speak of detachment, perspective, new arenas of paitience,
and the stories of those that touched my heart, and those that I touched in turn
though the latter remian a mystery for the sake of my mind
I understand every moment better than I was scared to think I would
And I look back at my full circle with only love in my heart
"For, as the body of man depends for life upon the rays of the sun,
so cannot the celestial virtues grow in the soul without the raidiance of the Sun of Truth."
And all this while I've been carving,
And I offer you my heart thus far...
