Explanation

What is it that is defitionaly categorized as guilt or blame
In those moments that are snowballing into hours and days
I crave no explanation as my soul seems to cradle the situation
for the mystery of what it is
Only afterwards does my overly analytical self seek absolution
from actions my senses are almost positive are not crimes
and yet those analyzing warps of time like to trace over the
many lines of so many different paths that entered the realm of my possibilities
and I fall into bed with a mind running around in confusion
this is however, everything you are afraid to ask for
no dress-up or practicing of parts needed
no assembly required only a natural sense of being
A glaringly obvious parallel situation to another
I will continue to build up the sand castles knowing full well
their fragile state and not worry about the mess

Guess what guess what guess what!!!

Melon learned how to drive a stick shift!!
It was crazy fun...my new friend jon taught me on his car. how brave! After my first classes we are going back out to practice, this time in a bigger parking lot. I'm excited! Everyone else...you have been warned...

I'm falling faster than I ever remember having before
can't help to think how foolish since I don't know what I'm landing on.
Momentarily wish for the familiar childhood phrase "falling into cotton candy"
to once again be reality
And I think of my childhood and every moment leading up to right now
there are mistakes I have made that lay heavy around me like chains
Though words say "Let no excessive self criticism or any feelings of inadequacy,
inability or experience hinder you or cause you to be afraid." I drown in the weight of my deeds
Others seemingly have no qualms reminding me to wear these chains of pain
What we view as practical seems silly and constrained to me
I dream of transporting myself to an age where jolly ranchers make dreams come true
But in my actuality of being, I instead make wishes on bent pop tops and hard to open film canisters
I get nervous, flustered, discouraged and find a right to feel this in actions that now lie rotting
in forgotten fields
My mind reels at the statement I am refusing to make with my hiccuping words
For a battle that has barely started my body feels unjustly worn and frayed
Quick heart! Fight for yourself and I and wonder where we will land