Tremendous loss hovers around my soul
I feel it so acutely it might as well have been a slice of my heart
                Do you feel that?
Its the waves of possibilities nearly washing over us
You look at me,
    eyes so intent,
        smile playing on your lips,
            comfort seizing your muscles
I wonder despite your air of ease if your mind is
a crashing space of thought like mine
You are still and your eyes are begging to be met by mine
When they do you read me so completely
                  And against my wishes I look away,
Riddled with confusion as to why
The intimacy of being seen after so long being the servant in the background
You haven't waited till the last moment to let me know I matter
                                                            The challenge
of telling your humble self how you are my year culminating to its end,
to say to you how I tried on innocent fantasies
             so in the deep of night I might survive   
                        I am here
and I consume bits of your essence, ever hungry
for the knowledge of what and who you are
In moments of truth you trick me with kindness to tell you my secrets
I put things simply,
you see them truly.
Panic ensues when I realize the boat is coming into port
Your eyes close,
My heart stops.
You hold me long enough to say goodbye
And that is when I break,
                                      nay,
                                            shatter like ice to the ground
my hands shake as I feel you writing the last sentence in the book
of my year
I am here and I sip away at my nameless loss
                           and realize I am not finished

A Departing Update

My service goals include:
finish book 1 study circle-well...we didn't finish the book as they were too concerned with the fact i was leaving
finish book 2 study circle-finished the book!! now the partcipants are doing home visits weekly! yay!!
finish book 3 study circle-partcipant moved away...
finish book 4 study circle-yes!! finished it!!
do a book 6 intensive-okay, didn't really happen. It was open to people..but no body came...
teach three more children's classes at the Baha'i Center-yes sir!/maam!
go to two more devotionals at Tom's house-did this, they were fantastic...I shall miss them...
go to Rose's fireside three more times-I will dearly dearly miss this...my heart sighs at these fantastic people I will not see on a weekly basis anymore..
have arts and crafts virtue classes three more times- oh man, today was the last one...didn't quite work out as the students moments before I got there decided to play in a mud puddle...instead they took a bath while I shared music with their parents.
have three more junior youth classes-my last one is this friday. I will miss those kids!! I'm making bracelets for them as good-bye gifts! I have to leave my little sister...sigh...
have a few random devotionals- we had one last night and it was great! Tom, Lev, Nicole, Anna and myself were there and then we went to denny's afterwards minus Tom. When we were there we ran into Mike and Rachel. Rachel and I were estatic and ran to each other as earlier that day we thought we had said our last goodbyes.

Other goals, and their likelihood, are as follows:
Arboretum-98% likely-Success!!! Anna and I had a picnic and worked on book 4 here...it was quite lovely..Lev joined us for book 4, Lev pointed out that the arb is more like a tree muesuem.
The Ark-okay, i already went...but I wasn't even living in the Ann Arbor area yet! 92% likely-did not happen...pinball petes and hookah instead...sadly...
Crazy Wisdom-once again, have been here...but would like to go again...90% likely-still a possiblity, we'll see
Kerrytown-89% likely-I kinda drove through it...and I realized as I did that I had been there before...the day the women came off the street to meet me.
Purple Rose Theater-19% likely-yeah, not gonna happen. tickets to that thing are mucho dinero. well. more than i am willing to spend at the moment.
Botanical Gardens- 98% likely-Oh man, it happened but how can I explain how much not like a garden this place was? I swear, it was like being back in Kansas...that's how much praire this place has. Flowers I saw? None. None!! Not even little sprouts threatening to come up. Just long grasses.
Stucchi's-97% likely-Not yet...but I'm not too concerned...
Zingerman's-80% likely-Probably not going to happen
See Joe Reilly's show-98%-twice!!!