Hey. This is my heart right now. Full of all of you. If you cannot find yourself then A) you haven't looked hard enough B) I did not have a readily accessible picture of you but still love you very much. My prayers are with you.



love. love. always love.

classic

the first person to say happy birthday to me was Linda Coulter-Jones. How fantastic! Then I got an email from my mom...And then....from borders! haha. It really made me laugh. David, shiraz, Eli, and Chris were masterful and got me a sugar-free cake complete with pink frosting ("because you're a girl" Shiraz informs me the next day) I helped clean up the kitchen after saturday night and since I stayed till after midnight, Eli and Shiraz were official the first to wish me well on the day of my birth. Then Eli ran and got a special ice cream dessert thing and told me just to have one bite...which I did...so good! my birthday turned out to be quite fantastic. the youth took me out to a second dinner, we rented two movies, and while we were driving around I decided I wanted to smoke a cigar to celebrate. We drove to a gas station and got those oh so crappy cigars. made me think of cait, andrew, richard and gen. what good times we had.

we watched both movies that night. good birthday. My presents included such wonderous things as a mini ipod, a cd, and tickets to a vienna teng concert. that's right, my birthday's theme was music. booyah!

today I went to a yoga class and it was fantastic! I mean, really really good!! You see, I hadn't done yoga in a while but as soon as the class started I could feel my body loosening up and tension being massaged out of my muscles. Afterwards the instructor came up to me and said,"I can tell that you've been doing yoga for a long time" and I thought about it. I started doing yoga when I was 13 or 14. I guess that is a while. at the end, she massaged some essential oil on the back of our necks. It was really intense and made me feel really energized. I felt like I had become remade, ready to be put into my world of tests. The world of reality. Then we had tea and fruit. I signed up for 2 months unlimited which means I can go as often as I want for one low price!

I would like to end by saying two things:

First!!! Thank you to the following people (in no particular order)

• Afsaneh
• Curtis
• Georgia
• Kersten
• Nick
• Lau
• Erin

For your contributions to my project. Remember, I still need yall's help! So please send me beads or charms. It has been so exciting to see how this project is going to come together. Help me make it happen!!

Secondly...

BEST BIRTHDAY MONTH EVER!

note: i started this post on my birthday but didn't come back to finish it until sept. 16th.

the much un-anticipated update

things that have happened:

• i got a pet rat. her name is may.
• i can now say that i have driven, as in actually sitting in the driver's seat, for 15 hours in one day. woohoo!!

Now, several people have expressed interest in those I am serving with. Here is my description of them...in the order of their departure.

Nava: Nava is the youth who trained me in the ways of the office. She was only here for about a week while I was here. She was lots of fun. A bit crazy. We found out while playing apples to apples that we think a lot alike. Those of you who have played the game can see how lucky that was for our pointage. Nava lives in Ann Arbor now and the remaining youth here are detrimined to go and visit.

Neda: Neda left August 9th with Farid, Hamid, and Rob. She was able to give me lots of advice and soothe many worries. She seemed to be able to read just what it was I was thinking. I was sad to see her go.

Farid: He was the first youth who I met on that thunderous night. He was always so kind and loving towards me and always managed to make me laugh with ridiculous stories! On their last night, all the youth went to archies (not nearly as awesome as chubby's) and ate tons of food! During that time, Farid was able to give me lots of advice. Very lovely.

Rob: Rob, oh Rob. I met Rob a while ago at a Y.O.U. retreat at Darajun's. We both recongized each other but didn't say anything about it for a few days. A bit awkward. I miss how randomly Rob would burst out into laughter.

Hamid: Ahh, Hamid! Funny how close we became in such a short while. I miss him so much. He is fantastic. We had crazy times and have so many funny goals to achieve together. We have the same sleep number...but Hamid sucks at life...

Nick: This guy broke his arm in his first month of being at Louhelen. I took him to get his cast off, quite a momentous occassion...that arm stank up the room when that cast came off!! phew!! Nick and I had some adventures..mostly trying to find the elusive rite-aid that this darn witch (who was obsessed with graveyards "ooh! a graveyard?!") was hiding from us.

Hector: Hector. How I miss thee. I am hoping so badly that he really is going to be coming back in december. We tried to find the Eggleston's gravesite and failed rather horribly. We did get sore feet though, and some great photos of roadkill. Also, Hector always had an Ernie with him, oh Ernie. Always getting into trouble! Two things I love about hector: He always made his food into a piece of art. Honestly, you almost didn't want him to eat it it was so nice. Secondly, I made a joke (those of you who know me well, can really appreciate this, it was one of those jokes where I only say half of what i'm thinking) and hector paused...and then laughed!! he laughed! he got it!!! i was so shocked and happy. Oh! We also went into a fireplace store together. That was weird.

Melody: My two most potent memories of Melody are her singing constantly and her climbing a tree and falling on her feet and tumbling over onto her bum. quite a classic moment.

Lua: Lua and I bonded like none otha! We even share a shirt (ooh...i really need to send that!). we made a list of things we need to do together some of which includes: going to shiraz's wedding and sharing an apartment. On her last night we made mac&cheese, popcorn with cinnamin (bad call, don't ever do that!) and watched two movies. Movies that we didn't start until 11:00 pm. Then we talked until very very early in the morning. Resulting in a 3.5 hour sleep. rock on!

Amanda: Amanda! Turns out Amanda andI have been going to the same conference for about 4 years and never realized it. Now we have a book club together. She loves David Bowie and the Princess Bride. I miss that girl.

Cheyne: The eligable bachelor. Cheyne was my partner in crime in the office. It was really nice even if he just did come in on the weekends. He was a big help. He grew up in St. Lucia so he has a sweet accent. I'm sad that tomorrow is his last day. I want him to come back. Hopefully he will.

Chris: Um. Yeah, I don't even know what to say about this guy. Literally...hm. Well, he really likes to see me blush, because apparently right before I blush I make this hilarious face. But whatev! I made him blush today. ha!

Eli: Eli...he is very nice to me and likes to call me Mad-lion. He often asks me what the lion ever did to me...how do I respond to this? I do not trust Eli's taste in movies at all. His choices must be confirmed by Chris. Eli was born and raised in Israel. Good times. Well...so I've heard...

Athol: The tall Jamaican. Great tag-lines of his. "Thats so stupid!" "Ah, so annoying!" I love his sense of humor, its the best. And we can relate on different levels, which is nice. His dances!! Those are the best!!!!!!

Seowah: My roommate. We have a theme song...but I can't remember what it is...at all...we have lots of plans to knit lots during the winter. Sometimes I think I am too crazy for her. hmm..probably because I am crazy.

“The secret of happiness is the determination to be happy always, rather than wait for outer circumstances to make one happy.”

8:00-fall out of bed, throw on some pants and a button up shirt, this is my daily charade of acting like i am dressed for the day. eat food.

9:00-devotions, sit in back so no one will hear me singing.

9:30-go to session, sit in back so no one is disturbed in case i have to leave/work/run errands, usually to target/relax, this means reading and listening to music, possibly doing laundry

12:00-make phone calls to make time go by before lunch

12:15-12:30-lunch, huzzah! time for my gross dandelion tea. maybe we will have the best veggie patties in the world!!!! for serious, so good.

2:30-work/relax (sometimes both)

6:00-dinner! yay for fruit plates and salad.

11:00-dorm, if there is a session i must scurry to room 111B lest i get caught by john or lewylln/hang out with youth

1:00-1:30-go to sleep after talking with Seowah

repeat as needed

cars, bandages, cards, photos, races, runners, planes, towels, dreams, regrets, hopes

Your voice lacked any defintion of tone
yet it called me back into reality
my heart beat for the adventure of reading your name
and my blood rushed to my heart thinking of whispered words
that held so much meaning for a young one's mouth
words that had been waiting to be heard
I drove up to a foregin country that was in my home
for one moment I did exactly as I didn't want to
Proof that I am.
i lay my head down, my eyes barely closed
'you are on the roller coaster' he would have me convinced
everything blurs into to red
and at once i am lost in my self
fingers aching to be united with brushes that will tie into paint that will fall onto canvas
I make do with a reciept and you
and as i write this I can't help but know I have read this before

the server.

i came the closest to luke wilson i think i shall ever come in my entire life. you see i was eating on the plaza with my mom, we went into the classic cup (the one so famous for once serving richard, shea, and caitlin).

our server was none other than luke wilson!!!!!!!!! well, okay, a luke wilson look a like, sound a like, and the like...um...too many likes? oh well.

needless to say our server was pretty intense and hilarious.

Nothing but my mind leaking

someday i wish to hear a quote that has come from your mouth

someday i will tie your shoe and it will stay tied

someday you will drive five and a half hours to see me and it will be just as awkward

once in a while it will feel like i'm on a roller coaster, even when i'm just sitting with you

once in a while you will miss me

i regret you don't have my shoes

i regret that i ripped it up

if anyone ever finds digimon socks, please, send them my way. i love my digimon socks. i would like to love two pairs even more.





quote of the night "it kinda smells like vomit."