Clickable

the only way i can think of how to describe how i am feeling is clickable. or maybe i should say that i feel re-clicked. I was a train set that needed to be clicked together.

or maybe i was a disc in a back being pushed back into place.


Whatever i was, i was not click chocolate from israel, because that doesn't really click into place....





Anyway. I'm moving in august. August 1st.

SPRING BREAK: part III

Does anyone else think its pretty crazy that I can have all these spring break experiences without actually having a spring break?!

I went to minnesota for a dean's reception at the university. My whole visit was rockin, a late naw ruz party, a couple nights with aaron, adrian, mayda, ice cream, got to see mona before i left! and since I was going to go to Ohio to visit miami I knew my decision for which college i was going to would be really hard.

I was wrong. Miami is not a good fit for me. and not just cuz i got snubbed by those girls. Its a great school...just not for me.

Point of the Story: I am going to the University of Minnesota!!


ps. looked for houses with my parents in kentucky and ohio.

SPRING BREAK: part II

Kent came to visit. nuff said. well....maybe not. the plaza was visited, there were cocktail parties, devotions, fasting and naw-ruz. and sonic...so much sonic.

SPRING BREAK: part I

It was saturday and I was off work, good thing too since zane and devon were coming into town at noon.
I was planning on taking them to the plaza and its surronding areas. I got a message from them at 12:10 saying they were just leaving. Blast!
So instead that evening we went to downtown overland park and then broke the fast together. brent, a student at JCCC who is doing a report on the Baha'i faith, showed up soon after.
We tried our best to answer his questions and ate lots of gum...well, chewed a lot of gum. After devotions some of us watched a horrible movie called the gingerdead man.
SUNDAY morning we woke up for the fast. We decided to go back to sleep but soon after were awoken by tornado sirens, we ran downstairs and the joke among the youth that the johnson's have everything and anything in their basement is true, we had four airmattresses for us to sleep on.
then a belated feast, sheridans, sonic, and the parts of the gingerdead man, for amusement of those who had not the displeasure of seeing it the night before.

the thing about love is...you cannot just say "i love you" once and expect it to stay put. you have to say it. and say it. and say it. because though the meaning may not, the words wear away.

so what do you do when the object of your affection cannot comphrend your words? if you are me. you panic. and search and rack your brain for a way that you can have those words stay with them forever. i wish i could write it on their heart so that when they grow hopeless or any form of sadness, their heart will glow with the knowledge of my love.

i become irrational. i think of where i could hide a note he would find when he was mature enough to understand those three simple yet complex words. how could he know i didn't abandon him? how can he know that he is with me always?

it was my love that cradled him for eleven hours, for eight days. my love that hydrated him, helped his fever down, rushed him to the doctor. it was my love that embraced him that first time he was sick. and he will not remember. he will never know.

show yourselves!

I'm talking at my future.
The possible turns my life could take. I am sitting here, and I have no idea where I will be in 5 months. And i feel as if i should be a lot more worried than i am.

i don't know where i am going to school or where i am going to go serve. and i don't know for sure which comes first. and i'm not writing this for advice. to be perfectly and precisely honest that's the last thing i want.